Confidence is on the other side of fear

So 4 years ago McGyver ( my hubby- we call him that because he can fix almost anything, with anything) and I celebrated our 30th Anniversary in Arizona. We explored Phoenix, we visited aviation museum and hiked in Tucson, we then headed to Sedona for days of hiking and enjoying the energy, scenery and all celebrated this milestone of our journey together.  

In Sedona we decided one day to take this 5 mile hike in and out to Devils Bridge. Sounded like a good idea at the time.  It was actually a very nice hike and we walked and talked and drank lots of water and slathered on sunblock and lip balm! We saw beautiful vistas and rock formation and actually not many hikers but the ones we met along the way ( and their dogs) were quite lovely humans.

So we finally make it to this Devils Bridge and we see folks walking out there, 400 feet up, out on this skinny little stretch of rock! Me, being afraid of heights said, no way.  So, we sat and watched others go out, some terrified, others laughing and having fun with it.  

I finally sent my husband out there alone, I couldn't do it. I would just take his picture and then we could go.  He went, I took pictures.  I was scared for him, "don't go that far" I yelled.  

He came back happy and full of confidence.  I finally decided I should face my fear and go. Of course he had to go back with me. We got others to take our picture.  It was frightening, but I did it. I felt so empowered to feel the fear and do it anyway.  I have many times "jumped" into things feeling the fear, feeling unprepared and yet somehow I figured it out.  

Sometimes we need take risks, do scary things to remind ourselves that we CAN do hard things and things that frighten us.  We can do them scared. Get a friend and go do that scary thing.


You only die once... make sure you are living

Are you really living or just going through the motions of the daily grind of life?

Might be a little morbid, we all only die once, but we get to live! This one precious life that we get.


I was guilty of sleepwalking through life, I got lost in my own shame and unworthiness, stuck in grief after losing my mom and my then my health, my identity as a mom. I felt like a zombie, just getting from one day to the next. Sure, I was living and loving and doing and there were plenty of happy moments, but inside I knew there was more, there was something calling me a different way of life.


I finally "woke" up and started really taking on my own stories and wounds. I started waking up to the possibility of living a life I would love. I woke up and started living the dream.  I had a dream of living near the beach, paddle boarding and coaching. I had never been on a paddle board, but I knew it was going to be my jam and it is!.  I had a vision of teaching people how live happy healthy and worthy lives, and I am.  

Is it all unicorns and rainbows... of course not. But i'm not numbing out with netflix and bottles of wine to avoid my life and my feelings. I'm not reacting to everyone and everything around me. I'm judging and complaining about my life and circumstances. I'm not apathetic about my health and well being.  I am not a human doing I am a human being. I know how to manage my mind, my life and how to live today, not someday.


This is your one chance at life... dream it, believe it, claim it, live it.

Are you feeling connected?

Are you feeling connected?  And I don't mean on Facebook, Instagram, computer, or phone.  I am talking about real person to person connection.  Sure, I'll be the first to admit that I have connections via the internet that are fun, supportive and enjoyable. For sure, I have friends ( and family) that I know IRL (in real life) on FB and Instagram, however so many of these "connections" are just not grounded in real, live, human connection. 

We are all craving connection.  We are more "connected" than ever, and yet we find ourselves feeling alone, disconnected and hiding. We find ourselves comparing and judging, while others compare and judge us.

These redwood tree roots remind me how we need real connection.  These roots of the trees wrap around one another, they don't go deep, they go wide. They become intertwined and create an amazing system that provides support for all the trees. The trees become a force of nature when the winds and storms come. They thrive in these thick forests where they create a "community" to ensure their survival.  Redwoods can never survive alone, and neither can we.

Just like the redwood forest needs a community to survive, we women ( and men), need communities, tribes, groups who with whom our roots are so strongly connected that we can then withstand the harsh windstorms of life, because they will come.  It's not likely that your 562 friends on Facebook will come to your aid when you get cancer or your child is sick, you have to pack up and move, your business is struggling or your spouse dies.

Having moved a lot over the years, I found that a church was my best way for me to find and create a community.  If you have children, then you know that other parents who are challenged with similar struggles can be a great support. Now as a business owner, I find strength in the women who are also doing this work in the world. We grow, we support, we have set backs and we connect. We share our dreams, our desires, our heartaches and our struggles. We grieve and laugh and give and receive.

Like theses big, beautiful trees that are grounded and connected, let us do that in our homes, communities, states, nations and the world.  There is power in connection. There is support in connection. There is hope and love in connection, it means we are all in this together.

I have recently discovered how much I was missing truly being connected and feeling grounded in my work and in my life.  I sought out women that were seeking that too.  Together we are thriving. No one does it alone, not even a 35 foot tall majestic redwood.

New Year, Same Old You?

New Year, Same Old You?



New Year, Same old you?


Judy Prokopiak, RN CWHC

Jan 10, 2018


New Year, New You!  The annual January mantra that we are assaulted with after Christmas.

Can you really become a “new you” ? What would you look like, feel like, be like?


Most of us don’t really want to get a whole new personality, ( we are kind of attached to the one we have created already).  Most of us just want to feel better, look better, do better and be better.


I just wanted to feel better too. I wanted to stop the negative thought loops and riding the shame train all damn day.  Guess what?  In my search for answers which I thought was another diet or workout plan, I found that it was truly time for a new me.


I’ve have made some tectonic shifts in my thinking, my limiting beliefs, my disempowering stories. Big leaps in how I treat myself and the chatter in my head.   Many days it’s been a huge emotional challenge to say the least. Some days it was if II had multiple personalities… oh wait I did!  The old one that was fighting to live as I sent it packing and the new one that was being created.  It was a little crazy in there.  Having to “upgrade” my operating system ( the subconscious one that runs the show) over the last 4-5 years while starting a business and moving multiple times has taken me on the most courageous and transformative journey of my life.  


Dr Joe Dispensa says in, Breaking the Habit of being yourself,  “if you want a new personal reality, you need to create a new personality”.  What?  I know, that is what I said.  I didn’t really want a new personality, but there were so many parts of it that were no longer serving me that I had to break up with myself and let the old virus infected version go, so I could install the new program.


So what do we end up doing instead?  We make little shifts here and there, some stick, most don’t.  Usually it takes a pretty big life shift, like a new job, a marriage, a baby, a health scare or a move to make lasting lifestyle changes.  


The reason is, we are really just a bunch of habits.  We are habitually ourselves. This is one of the reasons it’s so challenging to stop eating the chips and binge watching Netflix.  It takes a whole lot of focus, determination and commitment to change ( because we have to override that old operating system) even when we say we really want to make it to the gym in the morning, hitting the snooze button is our default.


Here are 3 tips to help you if you really want to become that new version 2.0 of yourself.

  1. Have a powerful “why”. Why do you want to change this thing? What if you don’t, how will that impact your life?  Why is now the time?

  2. Have a bigger vision for your life.  What would you love more of in your life? Focus on what you want (look good in the swim suit or lower cholesterol) instead of the actual problem ( I need to lose weight).

  3. We never actually stop doing anything.  We have to replace that thing we were doing with something else… a new habit.  


Deciding that you want to upgrade to this new, improved version of yourself will require a new operating system.  So make sure you upgrade your thinking as well.  It’s always a thinking problem.  Want to change your life, take a look inside that “hard drive” and reprogram it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Although I had to break bad with a part of myself, I am really loving this happy, healthy, worthy me a whole lot more.

Are You Drifting Through Life?

Judy Prokopiak, RN, CWHC, Lifestyle Coaching


drift at beach image.jpg


I know it's winter here in Florida, but I love going to the beach on a sunny day when there is just enough waves for a boogie board or to leap over them as they crest just at the shoreline. Even as a fifty-something woman, it feels so freeing and child-like to jump in the waves or dive under.  And, yes, sometimes we get pumelled by them if we aren’t paying attention.

If we aren’t paying attention, we can also  end up down the beach, drifting far away from our umbrella, beach chairs and icy cold drink. You know that moment when you look up onto the sand for your purple umbrella and you see that you have “drifted’ away.  What do we do?  We start “shifting’ and making our way back toward our sweet spot on the beach.  

The same is true in life. If we are not paying attention, we end up drifting. Sometimes we drift a little and catch ourselves, we course correct. Like when we gain a few pounds from a little too much over the holidays, but get back on track and on the scale maybe. Perhaps we stepped out of a job or relationship quickly when we saw that it wasn’t right for us.

However, there are other times we wake up and think, “how the heck did I end up here in my life.”  We let ourselves drift so far from where we wanted to be, thought we should be, or could be.  We can’t even see the umbrella anymore!  Now we have 40, 50 or more pounds to lose or we have a job we’ve done for 20 years and just don’t love it anymore but feel stuck.

This happened to me, I spent so many years looking for my purpose, trying to find peace ( by the way, it’s an inside job… it’s not out there) and being “busy” taking care of people, that I never stopped or felt worthy to set goals or dream dreams.   I don’t think that God wants us to just be at the mercy of the waves being pulled under or drifting along, he wants us to live an inspired (in spirit) life.

You are a good woman, doing good work in the world, taking good care of people, but  It’s time to wake up.  Wake up and dream a new dream. Wake up and decide who you want to be, what you want to do and how you want to serve in the world.  It’s time to start “shifting” and stop drifting.  

I took action and started making shifts in my health, learning about foods that heal and changed my life. I shifted my negative and dis-empowering stories of shame and unworthiness. I shifted my relationships by not trying to control and fix everyone and everything.  

As we head into 2018, maybe you need to create a big shift in your life ( move, change jobs, etc) or maybe just a few little shifts (eat a salad every day, stop binge watching Netflix).  Either way, decide what you would love ( God has put that in your heart) more of in your life, and start taking action towards that.  There is no need to drift through life.  The waves of life will certainly crash over you from time to time, but when you are focused on that “umbrella” of what you want and why, you won’t be held under for long and you won't drift away from your true authentic self again.